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Wednesday, 06 August 2008

  • I'm leaving back to Georgia in the morning... That's why I'm thinking of going to bed now... I never sleep on the plane... I try, but it's really difficult. I just like staring out the window. My vacation was cut short because my Mom needs to go to the doctor... I really just want her better. And happy. So hopefully, me coming home early for her will help. It's so sad though, that I only got to spend a little over a week here in Ohio, but paid $305 for the whole thing (including changing my reservations for an earlier flight) *sigh*

    There is so much waiting for me back in Georgia... problems, really... and I'm not really looking forward to dealing with it all. But there's no turning back now. I might as well face reality.

    Well, I don't feel like writing anymore.

    Have a great night everyone!

Tuesday, 05 August 2008

  • My step dad passed away 3 years ago today... and I've always hated this date for that very reason. It had to be the most awful thing I've ever had to go through. I can tell you right now that my step dad was kind, loving, and caring. I don't think he had a mean bone in his body. It's so difficult thinking about him without crying. I read a eulogy during his memorial and I wish I had it now. It was written in index cards and it really depicted how I felt.

    I had an entry in my old blog about this day in 2005:

          In Memory of my Step-dad
           Ronald A. Rumney.
            I love you and I miss you.
              June 27, 1947 - August 5, 2005

    So today has been... I can't even begin to describe it...

    "All we can say to someone is that vulnerability to death is one of the given conditions of life. We can't explain it any more than we can explain life itself. We can't control it or sometimes even postpone it. All we can do is try to rise beyond the question "Why did it happen?" and begin to ask the question "What do I do now that it has happened?" - from When Bad Things Happen to Good People by Rabbi Harold Kushner.

    "There's no limit to how complicated things can get, on account of one thing always leading to another" - E.B. White

    "Life is ten percent what happens to us and ninety percent how we deal with it.
     Life is like a fan. One day it blows, the other day it sucks!
     Life is like an onion. You peel it off one layer at a time, and sometimes you
     weep." - Common wisdom

    "Some people come into our lives, leave footprints on our hearts, and we are never the same." - Unknown

    "Goodbye; remember me as loving you" - Toni Stone

    "And the goodbye makes the journey harder still." - Cat Stevens

    "Life can only be understood backwards, but it must be lived forwards" - Soren Kierkegaard

    I will remember you, will you remember me?
    Don't let your life pass you by
    Weep not for the memories

    *****************************************************************************************************************
    I really don't feel good tonight... I'm going to bed. Hopefully, I feel better tomorrow.

Monday, 04 August 2008

  • I haven't been feeling good about a lot of things lately. I just feel like things in my life are falling apart and I can't do anything about it. I'm trying so hard to stay "strong" and "happy" but it's not really how I feel. I'm actually at the point where I want to just crawl up in a ball and cry. Just a month ago, it wasn't this bad. Now, I feel like it has gotten worse.

    I feel like my relationship is distant. I feel like I haven't talked to him in so long. We used to be able to spend hours together, just the two of us... without fighting... and lately, we've been fighting a whole lot more. I'm so far away from him and I will be for another 13 days. I don't even know what he's thinking anymore. If I'm even important to him as I used to be.

    Then my mom is just having a hard time with her life... and it's not only affecting her negatively, but it's also affecting everyone else around her. I'm so worried about her... Her situation stresses me out.

    Things that have been happening lately are stressing me out.

    I just hope things get better. I am praying to God that things get better soon. I'm thinking of all this as a test.

    ... and I hope I pass.

Sunday, 03 August 2008

  • I wonder

    ... if I could lose all the drama in my life and just be completely happy and content for once?
    ... if I could find a guy who would never lie to me? Or... at least stop lying to me.
    ... if I could go a year without crying?... a month?...
    ... if I could ever trust people completely without having to question them once?
    ... if I will look back in a few years and find my entries as important as I feel writing them now?
    ... if I'm giving myself enough "me" time as I should?
    ... how important I really am to the people I consider important to me?
    ... where I am going to end up?
    ... if I will meet all my goals?
    ... why things happen?
    ... if they really do happen for a reason?
    ... if true love never dies?

Saturday, 02 August 2008

  • HELLO WORLD!
    I'm still in Ohio! Obviously! And... I'm about to eat some dinner. And everyone's already eating without me How sad. Anyway, I have yet to take some awesome digital pictures here in Ohio. I really wanted to go to the lake (Lake Isabella) but I didn't get to go. Wednesday is the next day I get to leave and explore... my uncle is taking me to a "castle" - he said it's real... I don't know where it is or what it's called... but I'll be sure to post up pictures of that day. So watch for it!

    Hmm. This is my 2nd blog entry. How cool is that? I'm actually still pretty happy that I started this. However, I want to be able to talk about non-boring things soon. I'll possibly talk about this upcoming magazine article I have to write on Entertainment... So until next time! (which could be in a couple of hours if I feel like writing again)... Get excited!

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  • I have a busy life... I like reading, writing, listening to music, and scrapbooking - among other things. Most will be able to get to know me just by reading my blog entries... So read on! :)

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